Wednesday, December 31, 2008 and for the most part, I’m putting 2008 down as a negative year and I for one am glad to be shed of it.
But, unlike A LOT of people, I’m actually optimistic about 2009. I really believe that this economic bullshit will sort itself out and we’ll be back in high cotton come summer. Yes, yes, lots of so-called experts are predicting doom and gloom well into 2010, but I’m of a mind that they only predict that shit so people will listen to them. Nobody’s gonna get on the TV news if they’re predicting sunshine and skittles. It’s only by predicting Armageddon that you get air time.
Why? Because the news people want you to be scared. No, check that. They NEED you to be scared. If you’re scared, you’ll watch more and thusly be exposed to more advertising. It’s not about and hasn’t for a long time been about news. It’s about money.
And since no one is good at serving two masters, guess who comes out on top?
So, I’m not having any. I just don’t see us putting up with a bunch of hard times.
In Googling for oddities, I came across the website for Incirlik Air Base, where I did time back in the 80s. On the main page is a link to “Ask Mehmet.” Fine, let’s ask him.
Dear Mehmet,
I once had to ride in a cab in Madrid and I think the cab driver was Turkish. He was driving like a maniac and we kept yelling “Noranja sopa, por favor! Noranja sopa!” but he kept driving like he was insane.
We later learned that “Noranja sopa, por favor!” means “Orange soup, please.”
Anyway, if we get this guy again, what do we yell to get him to drive like he’s NOT a lunatic?
Thanks,
Domino.
Surprisingly, I got a response about half an hour later:
Dear Domino,
I’m not sure how to address your question.
If the cab driver was in Madrid, Spain, then chances are he speaks Spanish and you should find out the correct translation of “Please drive safely.”
Sorry I couldn’t be more helpful.
Mehmet aSalahati
Host Nation Relations
39 ABW
So, I write him back:
Dear Mehmet,
Is Incirlik full of ticks? I heard that there were a lot of ticks there and I don’t like ticks.
Thanks,
Domino
He promptly writes back:
Dear Domino,
I don’t know what you mean by “full of ticks.” As far as I know, there aren’t very many ticks in this area in that it’s too dry. I’m not sure how an Air Base could be “full of ticks” so I think I’ll just say no, it’s not full of ticks.
Mehmet aSalahati
Host Nation Relations
39 ABW
So, we fire off another:
Dear Mehmet,
I head that Turkey is a lot like Texas and the last time I was in Texas, I got like 800 ticks on me in a single day. They’re disgusting and if Turkey was full of ticks, I would try to get out of my assignment there. But if you say there’s not a lot, then I guess it’d be okay.
If I could ask one more question, how do the Turkish people feel about Pat Sajak? He hosts a TV game show here called “Wheel of Fortune.” I’m told the French people hate him, so I don’t want to be in a place where people hate Pat Sajak.
Thanks,
Domino
To which Mehmet responds,
Domino,
I’ve never heard of Pat Sajak or the TV show you mention, so I think most Turks wouldn’t care about him at all.
Mehmet aSalahati
Host Nation Relations
39 ABW
Which makes me bored with Mehmet. Maybe I’ll have Paul send him an insulting missive or two.
I think I’ll push this up early on the off chance we’ll get sent home early.
Happy New Year everyone and please do be safe. Designated drivers, taxicabs and whatever it takes to get home safe.