It’s Monday, March 30, 2009 and it’s got snow all over it again.
Weary am I of this. Weary indeed. Global warming my foot! I want to find one of these global warming assmunchers and roll them in the snow.
Oh, Chris now tells me the correct term now is “Global Climate Change.” Fine. Now I want to roll one of them in wood screws.
Even though utterly pointless to do so, I just finished my part of the employee appraisal for 2008-2009. Yee haw! Hopefully, my boss will take note of the facts that I:
1. Completed AND returned it ahead of the deadline
2. Did not take the opportunity to fill it with excerpts from my personal manifesto
3. Did not fill it out using verses from songs. (Such as, when it says: “…examples of how the employee demonstrates the company’s Core Values.” I did not respond with:
“He drinks a whiskey drink, he drinks a vodka drink, he drinks a lager drink, he drinks a cider drink.”
Oh, Thanks mostly to Tyler’s incessant whining, I pulled the think that you have to be registered and logged in to leave a comment. Now Giles will whine about not having to log in even though he’s never left a comment.
To continue our experiment we find that the phantom alert regarding Dan Hicks was not due to anyone in Putnam County Illinois trying to pitch a new show called “Manson Family Today” or the U2 site for ticketmaster.com. It is widely held thefoxnation.com should be expanded to include references to John Calipari, John and Sherry Rivers and the shamwow guy. An ongoing investigation so far has shown no obvious connection between Dorito casserole, digitalfreepress.com, smoking gun, advent international, Jane Hadjuk, 98.9 The Rock, Detroit Free Press or GM stock.
In other news, I see the scam here. You don’t think I do, but I figured it out. It’s called “planned obsolescence” and I now see that the world of optometry is fully enmeshed in the scam. Basically, my glasses have worn out. No, the frames are still good and tight. The problem is with magnification. They’re just not magnifying the way they used to and it’s a drag.
Since my youngest child works at the Walmart glasses hut, I hoped to toss some business their way. So I called them, but alas, they do not “recharge” or “remagnify” eyeglasses. According to them, eyeglass lenses do not lose their magnification unless something changes their shape. She on went to suggest that perhaps I needed a new prescription, but this would require an eye exam. I tried to explain that there is NOTHING wrong with my eyes and offered to prove it. If the lenses in my glasses are the same was when I first got them, then there should be a way to test for this. I mean some device you put the glasses in, shoot a laser beam through and get a reading on the far side. This way, if I was prescribed “O.S. -4.00 -1.25 x 170 2? B.U. 1? B.I.” (which is really just a bunch of bullshit they made up) then my glasses should still be that, right?
Oh, but how convenient it is that they have no way to determine the prescription of my glasses. I need to endure another eye exam where they’re gonna spray air in my eye again.
So, I called the outfit that sold me the glasses in the first place. No, there’s no warranty and no, there’s no way to recharge them or re-add the magnification of the lenses. According to Amy, lenses do not lose their magnification unless exposed to heat or in some way have their shape changed. She likewise can not test my existing glasses to see if they are still as prescribed, but will be happy to schedule an eye exam.
See? See the scam? They HAD to be able to test them BEFORE they gave me the things, right? Someone had to put them in a device and test to make sure they were really “O.S. -4.00 -1.25 x 170 2? B.U. 1? B.I.” So why is it we can’t poke them back in and test to see if they’re still that?
Hmmmm?
So Amy couldn’t come up with a good explanation for this, but insisted that since it was past time for an exam anyway, what’s the harm in coming in for one anyhow? Okay fine, but dammit, you WILL warn me before spraying that air in my eye again. The last time would have resulted in my tearing the place apart had my wife not been there. The only thing that kept the tech from being ripped to pieces was the fact she was female. Any male would have found me aggressively trying to tear his head off. Just a word of warning, eh?
This just in from our “What Now Bitches?” desk – Now is ANY republican would have done this, the newspapers, the TV news shows and the online news websites would have been wall-to-wall about it. We’d be having congressional and senate hearings from now until Christmas and every liberal talking head would be calling for blood. But since a democrat did it, it’s all “meh, old news.” I speak of course of the news that Senator Chris Dodd (D) Connecticut has collected than $223,000 from AIG employees, between 2003 and 2008. This is the exact same Senator Dodd who poked the loophole language into the bailout legislation that allowed AIG execs get over $165 million in bonuses, even after running the joint into the ground.
Call me a gun-toting, right-wing redneck, but where there’s smoke, there usually is fire. But it’s okay, I guess. I mean if this mattered really, it’d be on CNN or MSNBC, right? Since it’s only on Fox News and the Washington Times websites, it’s just partisan bickering, huh?
This is why I despise the democratic party. There seems to be no depth to which they will not sink, no lie which they will not tell and act so craven that they will not do if it means getting and staying in power. I mean come on. If Barney Frank was a republican, his own party would be eating his head over his criminally negligent lack of oversight as head of the Senate Banking Committee. But, the dems (and the liberal media) lets Frank put the blame on everything but his inept and corrupt oversight.
At least we can count on Domo for great justice:
Short one today. Too much work and not enough shablothe migleshipe!