The Liquor Talking

First, happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

I’m being dragged (very much against my will) to my fiancé’s parents’ house for Thanksgiving dinner. They go to our church, so I know from the potluck dinners that her mom is a terrible cook. I went so far as trying to schedule a root canal for Wednesday to get me out of having to go. It turns out that my dentist is one of them that has plenty of dough and won’t perform unnecessary procedures.

So, I’m taking a fresh tub of catfish bait. If I have to eat garbage, I should at least have some fun.

All the best to you and yours,

Rabbit

And a happy Thanksgiving to you and yours as well!

Good luck, but if I can offer a bit of advice, I would recommend simply enduring the bad chow in as stoic a fashion as possible. If you do something to wreck a family’s Thanksgiving (beyond that which is already wrecked from bad food) you run the risk of having an X-fiancé.

Plus, you run the risk of getting the stew beat out of you.

Just take the smallest portions you can get away with, smear everything with cranberry sauce and choke it down. You can tell your fiancé how dreadful it was later (I’d wait until after the wedding) and work together on avoiding it in the future.

1 free hand salute.

Best wishes,
Elim

I remember eating Thanksgiving when I was in college in the US. Gluttony is a sin in Islam as well as Christianity, but I’d risk it again to be able to tear into a huge turkey dinner.

I’ll instead be having some salmon, smoked on a bed of red peppers. I think you’d like it.
Warmest regards on your day of thanks.

Allahu akbahr!

SiAmack

I’m looking forward to a bit of gluttony. I can’t speak for Allah, but I think my God enjoys a well-prepared turkey, so gluttony might just be off the list for the day.

The salmon sounds yummy. I’ll trade you my dry rub recipe for your salmon recipe.

Blessings upon you and your house,
Elim

If you’re gonna spam a blog that’s in English, at least have the courtesy to use English in your spam. No, just typing English words is not using English.

216 free swift kicks for you, followed by a slow and agonizing death.

Elim

I may have started something of a “holy war.”

I set my caller ID to that of the Presbyterian church down the street and called my church, a Baptist church two blocks from there.

I used the Arnold Schwarzenegger soundboard an clicked on only the ones where he’s yelling and making threats: “You’re mine now! You belong to me” and “You’re a choir boy compared to me, a choir boy!”

Needless to say, our minister got pretty mad and hung up. I then changed the caller ID to that of my church, called the Presbyterians and gave them pretty much the same shtick.

The two ministers started calling each other and yelling at each other. I’m told it got to the point that the cops got involved.
What’s funny is that our minister is visiting from Croatia and has a pretty thick accent.
I’ve been going back and forth between the two with the prank calls and our minister announced on Sunday that we were no longer to associate with anyone who attends that particular Presbyterian church. I’m told their minister made the same announcement there.

Is this a win?

Randy

If your goal was to stir up hate and discontent then yeas, this is a win.

Scientific discovery is dangerous in the hands of neophytes. You have to be careful so that you only confuse and mildly annoy the subjects of your research and carefully categorize their behaviors. This appears to have gone over the line in that we now have two groups of people who won’t talk to each other.

This is bad and I have to rebuke you for it. As a people, we make our best achievements when we keep talking. We make our worst failures when we stop talking.
If you’re inclined to try this again, work it from a perspective of trying to get and keep the conversation going.

6 swift kicks to you.

Elim

Happy Thanksgiving!

I have the opposite problem. I work with all ugly, stupid women. My boss is the Supreme Allied Battletoad Commander. So even if your “bitches be crazy” at least they’re not ugly, stupid and mean.

One more semester and I’ll graduate and be able to quit this stupid job.

Hugs and kicks in the shins, then more hugs,

Jeff

Yes, I’m quite lucky that the gals I work with are hot, smart and (for the most part) sweet. Luckily, they’re hot and smart enough that they can get away with the occasional broom ride. If they were ugmos, I’d call out the AA guns and shoot them out of the sky. Ugly women, no matter how smart, don’t get to be bitches to me.

Good luck with your last semester, and happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

3 hand salutes.

Elim

How can you justify slaughtering those beautiful creatures?

And don’t say it’s for food! We’ve evolved past the point where we need to exploit animals for food. I bet I could fix you a nice tofu steak that you would be hard put to tell from the venison you slaughter.

You therefore kill for sport and for pure blood lust. You disgust me!

I hope someone hunts you for fun.

Sarah

For starts, I don’t feel particularly compelled to justify myself to you or anyone else for that matter.

Well, maybe my wife, but that’s only when she demands an explanation for something I’ve done or not done.

Second, if you attempted to feed me tofu in any form, you would be invited to cram it into a space not terribly well suited to receive tofu disguised as venison.

Third, if I wanted to kill just for the heck of it, I damn sure wouldn’t pack a $1,200 gun over hill and dale and then drag some unlucky creature back to my truck, then pay someone to cut it up for me. I would instead buy a couple dozen live chickens, release them into my yard and then wade into them with a tennis racket.

Finally, I hunt for fun, I hunt to honor a heritage passed down through countless generations of my family and I hunt for food. Properly prepared, venison is double yum. It’s 100% organic, it’s low in fat, high in protein and if you’ll let me grill you up a nice piece of tenderloin, I’ll have you throwing rocks at tofu with both hands.

22 swift kicks.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours and to the degree possible, enjoy your bean curd, turkey-like substance.

Elim