The Liquor Talking

It’s Monday, January 11, 2010 and we have:

This week finds us finally going to Johny Carinos. There’s not very many chain restaurants that I like, but this is one of them. There are three things an eatery must have in order to keep me coming back:

1. Good food.
   
2. Good service.
   
3. Good price.
   

Corinos scores well in each category. I have heard from some people that they’ve gotten poor service here, but this has never been my experience. The trouble with giving a bad experience is that you seldom, if ever get another chance. The closest this joint has even come to getting a bad mark was the time our server let my tea class go empty and I had to get up and refill it myself. The server saw me do this and was profuse in his apologies.

But that was many moons ago and I’ve not seen that particular server again. Our server on this night was Casey (Sorry, but I thought asking you how to spell it would have made you uncomfortable) and she had her game on. She took our drink orders, returned with them promptly, took our dinner orders and kept us updated on its progress.

Two dings on them this evening, both on the food. While the salad is not what brings me to a restaurant, it does play a role in setting up the appetite. My salad was pretty scant on dressing. This not to the point of being worth complaining about, but the sun-dried tomato vinaigrette is right tasty. I wish there’d been just about half-again as much on my salad. Secondly, the shrimp skilletini is far and away my favorite from their menu. They usually have something new on their menu each time we visit, but rarely is it intriguing enough to make me order it.

Tonight, the cook went just a little overboard in the spicy. Yes, it’s supposed to be spicy, but not the point of being overpowering. On the plus side, the cook did not skimp with the shrimp and other than being just a might strong for my pallet, it was still quite good. I scarfed it all up, but next time, maybe reducing the spice by about a fourth would let the rest of the flavors compete.

The wife had her usual, the chicken parmigiana and reported it quite good. This brings up another area where this place excels. The portions are more than adequate. While I bring a robust appetite to the table, I’ve never waddled out from there less than stuffed to the gills. It’s quite typical to see people leaving with a leftover box clutched in their hands. This means ample portions of food that’s good enough that you actually want to have the rest of it later.

Casey was fabulously attentive, checking on us with enough frequency that had something been wrong, it would not have been for long. She earned bonus points for seeing that my tea glass was never less than half full and for fetching over more bread, because it has just come out of the over. She maxed out the amount of tip possible. Well done.

So despite being a chain, Johny Carinos remains on my preferred list. Their menu is here.

After church on Sunday, we wanted to go to Doc & Eddies, but found them closed on Sundays. It used to be one of our favorite places when it was in the Heights, running neck and neck with Elmers. But alas, it was closed.

But as luck would have it, we spotted a joint called The Western Empire Emporium. Now, I’ve seen this place a few times, but never when we were casting about for a place to eat. We decided to give it a try.

I’m glad we did. It looks like they have a pretty impressive brunch buffet and I would have sampled it, but I had my jaw set for some chicken-fried steak. Happily, this was on the menu with either a cream or brown gravy. Brown gravy on chicken-fried steak? Must be a northern thing. I selected the cream gravy and had a go at their ample, but not extravagant salad bar while I anxiously awaited its arrival.

The wife picked the turkey dinner. She’s a huge fan of turkey and enjoys it in just about any manifestation. That’s why for thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Easter or any other holiday, we get the hugest turkey available and have turkey-whatever leftovers for weeks afterward.

The chicken-fried steak was marvelous. The gravy was just right and the potato was about the size of a football. I could have done without the small bowl of canned peas, but managed to successfully set these to one side. Lots of places in town do chicken-fried steak, but I’m pretty confident in saying this Western Emporium does it better than anyone else in these parts.

The wif’e's turkey dinner looked very much like what one would put together while seated at a holiday dinner. Plenty of turkey, gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce. When I say “plenty” I mean the kind of plenty that puts your self-control to the test.

All in all, this was some pretty good chow and I wish I’d have tried this place sooner. There’s a casino of sorts that’s part of it, but this is well removed from the dining area and the machine didn’t make any noise that I could hear. The service was good. The waitress only checked on us once, but given the way we were plowing through our food, she was right to assume that all was well. Lunch for the two of us was $32, including tip.

They don’t appear to have a website, but they’re at 3141 King Avenue West and are open Daily: 6:30am – 2:00am. They’re on my “I can’t believe I ate that much” list.

For starts, he had his hat on backwards, as did one of the other guys. What set him apart however was the five pieces of metal adorning his face. I honestly don’t understand this practice. If he’s trying to look intimidating, he was fail, at least where I’m concerned. I’m 6’1″, 275 pounds and when necessary, can whip some ass. I’m not at all frightened by some 5’8″ stick boy with a backwards hat and what looks like debris from a hardware store bombing lodged in his face. He tried his best to give me some weird stare-down when he saw me checking out his girl, but my setting down my fork and making to get up gave him pause.

But the real mystery is one that continues to stump me. Why on earth do hot chicks go for dudes like this? I’m assuming the guy isn’t wealthy or he wouldn’t go around dressed like he just murdered some hobo for his clothes. His overall pallor was that of someone who spends a great deal of time in a basement and to call him “scrawny” would be an insult to 98 pound weaklings the world over. His qualities are well hidden from the casual observer, but to her, he is the Adonis incarnate.

I mean here’s a chick who turned every male head in the joint when she walked in, playing sucky face with a guy who was indescribably homely and whose dress and facial accessories did nothing but call glaring attention to this fact. I was intrigued and very much wanted to ask her, but am fairly certain that this would have resulted in at least a few people having their evening wrecked. So it is that it remains a mystery to me.

WARNING: Adult Content Follows.

In researching the backwards hat thing, I came across an Urban Dictionary entry for the phenomena. According to Urban Dictionary: “Wearing your baseball hat backwards means you’re ready to perform oral sex immediately (don’t have to waste time to turn the bill out of the way).”

Now, I’ve never been one to even pretend to understand the female of the species, but there are some things about them that I’m fairly certain of. I could be wrong here, but I’m pretty sure that when a female is evaluating a male as a potential sex partner, the issue of whether or not he would have to turn his hat around is not a particularly compelling criterion. I’m reasonably sure that it rates somewhere below how recently he changed the air in his tires.

However, given the type of guy who does wear his hat backwards, I can can not easily dismiss that this enters into the guy’s thinking: “If I just wear my hat backward, the chicks will see that I won’t have to waste time turning it around!” I’m sure it helps too if your face looks like it had a high-speed collision with a tackle box.

A recent study by the Elim Tevir Institute for Improving My Chances revealed that 100% of the females surveyed (okay, there was just one) strongly indicated that the hat, backward or otherwise will be removed prior to any such activity.

Rats, I should have gotten federal funding for that study.

In other news, it looks like we’re in for some pleasant weather for a change. The forecast calls for highs in the 40s all week. I can dig it, he can dig it, she can dig it, we can dig it, they can dig it, you can dig it. Oh, let’s dig it. Can you dig it, baby?

Chris not in today. Hopefully a slack day ensues.

Feeling a bit nostalgic. Songs that take me back:

• Night Moves – Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band
  
• Don’t Look Back – Boston (Ummm,,, no)
  
• Old Days – Chicago (go figure)
  
• Lido Shuffle — Boz Scaggs
  
• Tush – ZZ Top
  
• Music Box Dancer – Frank Mills
  
• Tiny Dancer – Sir Elton John
  
• Take It To The Limit – Eagles
  
• Sultans of Swing – Dire Straits
  
• Couldn’t Get It Right — Climax Blues Band
  
• Jet Airliner — Steve Miller Band
  
• Teach Your Children – Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
  

In other news, the weekend was full of win.

I was able to find a seller of my new favorite sweet. They don’t have any more and will never get any more so there’s no point in you looking for them anyway. They all tastes like mud anyway, so you wouldn’t like them.

We had a pretty good time at Costco, shopping with the granddaughter. She loves to make the rounds, getting free samples of stuff. Most of it is stuff you couldn’t get her to eat at home, but here it’s far and away the most wonderful thing she’s ever had. We actually sent her home with a bottle of salad dressing that she now claims to be her favorite thing.

Oh, we have an announcement. Random Fact Guy is out today. Probably hanging around with Chris. So, here’s today’s random fact, courtesy of today’s special guest.

Okay then. Thanks and well done.

So look, if you call tech support and you are chomping away on a Subway sandwich, you can fully expect that I’m probably gonna ask you to repeat yourself. Mutt face, I had a pretty good day going on too. Got a ton of stuff done, even with Chris gone and you want call me while you chomp, slurp and chew your way through a footlong turkey club and get all pissy when I can’t understand you?

This, my friend is how my Cast of Characters gets added to. Welcome aboard!

Well, that’s it for this Monday. Tomorrow is Story Time Tuesday and we’ll be rejoining the Destructor Chronicles and all their carnage.