The Liquor Talking

So, what do you think about yesterday’s healthcare summit?

Or

Or

In other news, Church of Global Warming leaders proclaim that despite record cold temps and record snowfall, January 2010 was “the hottest January we’ve ever seen.” They went on to prophesy that “global warming is not uniform in all areas” thereby changing the definition of “global.”

With the new definition, any climate changes of any kind are evidence of global warming. Record snowfalls in the Eastern United States = global warming. Record cold temperatures in Europe=global warming. The first robin of spring=global warming. A bunny with a light saber=global warming.

In other news, I find myself in a generous mood and have decided to grant Corby (see reader mail from 02/24/10) a boon. Set caller ID to Gordon’s home phone (See entry for December 12, 2009) and do a little free-verse (no soundboard)

PETE: ‘llo?
ME: Hey!
PETE: Who this?
ME: I’m the Cloot of Nyee.
PETE: The who?
ME: You got me?
PETE: Who are you?
ME: Gordon.
PETE: I don’t know anybody named Gordon. You got the wrong number.
ME: No, you’re Pete right?
PETE: Yeah…
ME: I’m Gordon, in Hanover, Indiana.
PETE: I don’t know who you are.
ME: I just told you, dipshit.
PETE: What do you want?
ME: You’re a bag of tick turds.
PETE: What?
ME: I’m gonna pee in your coat pocket next time you’re at work.
PETE: Who is this?
ME: Gordon from Hannover, Indiana. The guy whose gonna pee in your coat.
CLICK

Pete doesn’t sound like a lot of fun. We’ll check again tomorrow (Saturday) at around 6 AM.

In other news, I’ve been listening to some old Bill Monroe tunes on YouTube. No idea why I’d find that so appealing today. I like Bluegrass music, but it’s something I gottah be in the mood for. But in flailing about on the interwebs, I came upon this and it looks like fun. Ran it by the wife and she didn’t say no, so we’ll see. Looks like an interesting diversion.

Once again, it seems the creative staff have gotten into the liquor cabinet (or worse) a little early.

Ok, this just in from the same crackpot customer that last week decided to save a few bucks and edit her website all by herself. It is largely unchanged from its previous state. The text box does not now include the text “This is a text box” but there have been no further improvements. The images remain broken and the narrative is clumsily worded. No sentence is shorter than 25 words.

Anyway, she apparently has a mailing list that she sends to every week. The only trouble is, her mailing list now exceeds 29 recipients which happens to be the maximum number of recipients our server allows. She sent the reject notice to Chris who, having vast experience in all things computer, was able to decipher the enigmatic text “TOO MANY RECIPIENTS” and derive it’s meaning.

He sent her the standard, canned response (you can’t send to more than 29 people at a time…) only to get this in response:

“Thank you for responding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even though the message you are reading is somehow bogus. The problem you are defining is not accurate. Or your software is making other evaluations than it is stating. I MUST MUST be able to email this list weekly.”

Perhaps English isn’t her first language. I’ve spoken with her on the phone and she speaks without any discernible accent. I’m guessing she’s just a crackpot. I am however exceedingly glad that Chris gets to deal with her and not me. Living in Cody makes him abundantly more qualified to deal with loonies than me.

Okay, well a good looking weekend looms large before us. Do be careful, don’t drink and drive and for the love of Pete, wear your seatbelts.

See you Monday!